Time Traveler

So I haven't written in a long time.  I'd be shocked if anyone is still reading this.  But tonight I'm putting pen to paper.

It's happened to me a few times now.                
Knotts in my stomach.                                                  
Sweaty palms.
Tears.
Weighted.

In an instance I go back.

Back to that place, those feelings.

A baby shower, a phone call, an unexpected trigger.  And I'm no longer post NICU momma.  I'm back.

Back to that scared girl with a heavy heart.

I don't have to stay there long.  I'm just a visitor now.  A reluctant visitor.

Will these return trips always occur.  When can I turn in my passport?

Most days I'm proud of its' stamps.  They are badges of honor.  Trophies.  Proff that we are strong. That God is faithful.

And then...

Something happens and these stamps turn me into a time traveler.
I'm back.

Knotts in my stomach.
Sweaty palms.
Tears.
Weighted.
Stop.
Breath.
The war is already won.