Flashback: The Little Rooms
Do you know about Little Rooms? They are where doctors take you to tell you bad news. If these walls could talk. They have been the setting for many heartbreaks. These rooms know their role. They even come stocked with tissues already on the table. Our journey through omphaolcele took us to four little rooms. This is my story of the Little Rooms.
We visited our First Little Room on the afternoon of March 22, 2017. The First Little Room is notably different than the rest. You see, this Little Room wasn't always a Little Room. It started out as a joyous place. It was the room where we were going to hear our babies heartbeat for the second time, and possibly learn if we would be on team blue or team pink. The room quickly morphed into a Little Room the moment the sonogram tech noticed something unusual. She went to get the doctor, and we waited. We waited in the Little Room and wondered. When the doctor entered, she carried with her a printed out description of a medical condition known as gastroschisis. If you have been following One in Fifty Thousand's story you know that this is not what he has. Approximately 10 minutes later, she returned with another print out of an even rarer birth defect known as omphaolcele. I left Little Room Number One feeling confused.
We went to the Second Little Room the very next morning (March 23, 2017). When you get an appointment at a High Risk Pregnancy Center in less than 12 hours, you get nervous, really nervous. Probably not a good sign. And it wasn't. In the Second Little Room we received a genetics lesson. I learned the names of chromosomal disorders. I heard terrifying statistics. I learned the term limit for a legal abortion. And I said goodbye to smiling monthly pictures of a growing tummy. Goodbye to planning a gender reveal and a fancy baby shower. And goodbye to what I dreamed my pregnancy would be like. I left Little Room Number Two feeling broken.
Broken but not defeated. When your the mom of a One in Fifty Thousand, God picks you back up.
The Third Little Room was at John Hopkin's Medical Center. This time we came prepared. It was about a week later and my husband had prepared a binder full of questions. We brought our moms. We wanted some extra ears and note takers. Information comes at you fast in the Little Room. It can be hard to process. Little Room Number Three sounded much like the Second Little Room. Only worse. This time we heard the term stillborn. Devastated, terrified, and angry. This is how I left the Third Little Room.
We had to wait several weeks for Little Room Number Four. This Little Room was at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. By the time we visited this Little Room we had gotten genetics testing back and knew that baby boy did not have any chromosomal defects (praise the Lord). Little Room Four told us that the journey would be hard. We would be looking at a NICU stay of three to six months, followed by surgeries within the first few years of life. We were warned about possible heart defects and the likelihood of respiratory challenges. Little Room Four sounded scary. But in this room we also heard a whisper. A whisper of hope. I left Little Room Four feeling grieved..and a little hopeful.
We visited our First Little Room on the afternoon of March 22, 2017. The First Little Room is notably different than the rest. You see, this Little Room wasn't always a Little Room. It started out as a joyous place. It was the room where we were going to hear our babies heartbeat for the second time, and possibly learn if we would be on team blue or team pink. The room quickly morphed into a Little Room the moment the sonogram tech noticed something unusual. She went to get the doctor, and we waited. We waited in the Little Room and wondered. When the doctor entered, she carried with her a printed out description of a medical condition known as gastroschisis. If you have been following One in Fifty Thousand's story you know that this is not what he has. Approximately 10 minutes later, she returned with another print out of an even rarer birth defect known as omphaolcele. I left Little Room Number One feeling confused.
We went to the Second Little Room the very next morning (March 23, 2017). When you get an appointment at a High Risk Pregnancy Center in less than 12 hours, you get nervous, really nervous. Probably not a good sign. And it wasn't. In the Second Little Room we received a genetics lesson. I learned the names of chromosomal disorders. I heard terrifying statistics. I learned the term limit for a legal abortion. And I said goodbye to smiling monthly pictures of a growing tummy. Goodbye to planning a gender reveal and a fancy baby shower. And goodbye to what I dreamed my pregnancy would be like. I left Little Room Number Two feeling broken.
Broken but not defeated. When your the mom of a One in Fifty Thousand, God picks you back up.
The Third Little Room was at John Hopkin's Medical Center. This time we came prepared. It was about a week later and my husband had prepared a binder full of questions. We brought our moms. We wanted some extra ears and note takers. Information comes at you fast in the Little Room. It can be hard to process. Little Room Number Three sounded much like the Second Little Room. Only worse. This time we heard the term stillborn. Devastated, terrified, and angry. This is how I left the Third Little Room.
We had to wait several weeks for Little Room Number Four. This Little Room was at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. By the time we visited this Little Room we had gotten genetics testing back and knew that baby boy did not have any chromosomal defects (praise the Lord). Little Room Four told us that the journey would be hard. We would be looking at a NICU stay of three to six months, followed by surgeries within the first few years of life. We were warned about possible heart defects and the likelihood of respiratory challenges. Little Room Four sounded scary. But in this room we also heard a whisper. A whisper of hope. I left Little Room Four feeling grieved..and a little hopeful.
You are warriors!! God bless your dear family.
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